I admittedly didn’t think of exhibiting compassion as a milestone during the teen years, but when I saw it in my son, it was a staggering revelation. It was during recent events around our national racial reckoning that I saw true compassion unveiled in my teenage son. We had gone to a protest together as a family, as we have been doing around various issues since the boys were in strollers. The tenor of this was different as America wrestled with its history, its future, and its division.
We marched peacefully, with a keen eye on our sons and their friends. We listened to teenagers share their own stories of being racially profiled and their subsequent heartache. Everyone was more solemn than sour as we wiped tears from our cheeks, the pain of these kids palpable.
Later, as we marched, police dispersed the crowd, and friends separated in anxious haste, posters, water bottles, and masks lay as detritus in our wake. My son’s friends became separated from us in the swell of confusion. We ran back to where they had parked, scoping the area for any signs of them. Would this scene unfold as images we had seen on the news? It was dark now, and the wait was harrowing.
At last, we spotted his friends lumbering toward us. My son ran to hug them, and we watched as they collapsed in a defeated, tired, scared heap. Tears flowed again, but this time of relief. My son held his friends up that night, literally and figuratively. He saw that they were safely en route home. But the real stroke of compassion followed as he remained in close, frequent contact to ensure they were feeling mentally and emotionally supported. It was this compassion that carries on today as he checks in on his friends at a time student mental health needs soar.
Read more about teenage milestones at the Center for Parent and Teen Communication. The CPTC provides science-based strategies to support healthy family relationships. I get the daily parenting tip newsletter, and I assure you, I read every single one. Hopefully, you’ll see the teenage years with a new lens as I did. We need all the support and compassion we can get as we navigate the teen years. Sign up for the newsletter here. And do tell, what milestones have you seen in your kids?
This post is made possible with support from the Center for Parent and Teen Communication, part of Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. All opinions are my own.