Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 3 Comments

Wake County Boys and Girls Club Ubuntu Scholarship

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Sometimes I get my bloomers in a bundle over really stupid stuff. The Universe seems to know when I need Reality to slap some sense into me. The Universe was chiming in loud and clear when my friend Tia called me from the Wake County Boys and Girls Club recently.

I, with two other local professionals, got to judge the Boys and Girls Club Ubuntu scholarship. Say it with me: Ubuntu. Ubuntu is an African philosophy that weaves together the ideas of kindness and humanity into one beautiful principle centered on the importance of people’s relationships to each other.

Desmond Tutu said it best: “A person with Ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.”

I’m adding Ubuntu to my list of other favorite words and concepts: gemutlichkeit and lagniappe. What a fine world we’d live in if those three words wrapped themselves around our hearts and minds.

I sat in a conference room with my compadres for the afternoon and interviewed half a dozen high school graduates who were eager to win this scholarship. And may I add, deserving. Had I the coffers to pony up the money I would have stroked a check to all of those kids. We met kids whose fathers were across state lines, in jail, or simply eternally absent. None of those kids had an active dad in their lives. I had a daydream bubble of Mac Daddy showering our sons with a rich dose of affection and discipline and was reminded of what we take for granted. How very much we take for granted. These kids all had talents of their own from playing a mean violin to playing hockey. And they got good grades. They were accepted to college (for most, this was a first in their familial history!). They volunteered. They gave of themselves.

These kids are enriching their world. And ours.

How could we select just one?

In the end, after much deliberation yet little debate, we settled on the person who really struck us as the one to carry the spirit of Ubuntu into her college years and beyond. By selecting one we didn’t reject the others. But like with any contest, there is only room for one at the podium. We hung our heads as we announced the winner and were weary of making eye contact with the kids we let down. Our shoulders hunched, our voices quivered. Yet we fulfilled our mission, not a Simon Cowell among us.

And seeing the sheer joy and relief and pride that swelled from this girl, this girl who had endured a lifetime of hardship, we breathed, straightened our posture, and gulped down the tears choking us as if they were tentacles gripped to our hearts. The room erupted in delight, and we celebrated the accomplishment of all these kids. I’m richer for having taken part in the Ubuntu judging. I find myself with clearer vision and greater appreciation.

But mostly, I am humbled, for now I know what Extraordinary looks like.

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Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 2 Comments

Sony PSP at 3 o’clock. AM. – Wordy Wednesday

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Special shout out to my camera man. Bird, you did a fine job holding the camera as still as possible while stifling your giggles!

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Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 18 Comments

Project Mom Casting: The Dirty & Noisy Version

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I never wanted to be a mother. While other little girls were playing with baby dolls I was ripping up Barbie’s clothes and sewing them back together into my own Frankenfashion. I was all about crafting Barbie furniture out of found objects (the plastic thingee that keeps cheese from sticking to the pizza box makes for a perfect mod end table). In my dream house Ken was Barbie’s minion and Barbie had no children.

I  spent an inordinate amount of time wondering why I didn’t have any dolls that looked like me. All my Barbies had blond locks and skin that was the color of the inside of  seashell. I did have a Cher doll, but it’s as close as I got. I used to try to convince girls at school that my hair was actually dark brown, not black. I pretended that I tanned on my deck to account for my brown skin. I stopped speaking my native Bengali.

30 years later.

I found myself helplessly in love with Mac Daddy, with one mistake marriage behind me already. We had our first son, and my life was forever changed. Son number two sealed the deal.

However, I was transported back to my school days of aching to fit in. I couldn’t find like-minded moms who shared my story. I still hadn’t found anyone who shared my ethnic DNA. I wish I had discovered blogging then. It took me five more years to realize I could find, and share, my voice. I laughed at other people’s toilet-paper-on-their-shoes kind of stories. I discovered a community of women who made me laugh til I peed, tear up til I was breathless, and scream til I was limp.

What I didn’t find are moms who look like me. Moms who share my story. Moms who walk a tightrope between Old Glory and the chakra of India’s flag. Surely there are moms out there who have one foot in India, struggling to maintain a heritage she doesn’t quite grasp, and one foot in full-fledged American culture, with her liberal heart whipstitched on her Trina Turk sleeve. I can’t possibly be the only Indian-born woman married to a Wisconsin man from a town of 500 people.

Can I?

We struggle to keep my heritage alive in our sons’ lives. I trip over my tongue when I talk to my sons about valuing people’s differences, whether they’re cultural, racial, social, economic, or simply their taste in crunchy versus creamy peanut butter. I’ve never talked about my struggles growing up and how I felt so ashamed to be different. Perhaps now is my chance to revisit those years and tell my story along the way.

For now, I’m cruising on my double lane highway, two co-pilots wiping snot on my sleeves along the way. While I never imagined myself as a mother, I’m glad the powers that be (God, Shiva, or simply the stars), gave me the privilege.

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Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 10 Comments

Yahoo! The Mother of All Dirty Martinis: 5:00 Fridays

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You have no idea how humbled I am. I got to hang in the company of some insanely talented women who rock my proverbial boat. I mean, they rock. And they rock it. Solid as a rock, baby. Rock on. Rock stars. Geesh, I am suddenly feeling a bit off my rocker. And I wish I had rock hard abs.

Where was I?

So thanks to the fine folks at Yahoo!, I got to spend a couple days in Palo Alto with some of the Yahoo! Motherboard. I chuckle at that name every time. Just cracks me up. I know it’s something more techie than mothery but I have no idea what it is. I do know that the motherboard in our old Dell laptop died two months after the warranty expired. I don’t know what a motherboard does, but Mac Daddy was pretty pissed when ours went kaput. He’s not cheap, or even all that frugal, but he hates to part with money.

Which is why he doesn’t want to move to Palo Alto now, despite my waxing about how awesome it was and how I want Bird and Deal to go to Stanford and the weather is so brisk and the views are luscious and the food is from local farms and blah blah blah. Mac Daddy squashed my plans when he saw how much a 1200 square foot house costs, and truth be told, when I realized I wouldn’t basking in the awesomeness of the Four Seasons, I kinda put a sock in it. However, I am kicking myself for not installing a giant tub and flat screen TV in the bathroom of the house we recently renovated. Soaking in a bubble bath at 11:00 PM while watching House Hunters International on HGTV was a bliss I had never even known existed. What a way to wind down after spending a couple days with fellow bloggers and Yahoo! Twitterati.

The hobnobbing! The noshing! The mojitoing! Oh, and the learning and thinking and meeting and tweaking and tweeting and lightbulb-momenting. We heard some heart wrenching tales of the importance of privacy and safety in the digital age. We saw how flickr is so darn robust and easy to use. We learned how to write better headlines for search engine optimization (my personal moan moment when I realized I’ve done everything wrong for two years now). And most of all, we all put avatar to face and forged some real friendships. Yahoo! is such a cool company, and I am proud to be counted among the many whiz writers who are the Motherboard.

Did I also mention that I met a few of my blog crushes out there? Gina! Glennia! Donna! Stacy! Vanessa! And I got to hang to hang with my pals Joanne and Jennifer. Meeting face to face instead of screen to screen is a whole lot of awesomeness. I saw more people than I can list and am still high from the experience (also from the memory of 70 degrees and a breeze lapping beneath my skirt).

And so today’s 5:00 Fridays cocktail is a cyber toast to those women who add spice to my life. To all the hawt Yahoo! Motherboard mamas out there…cheers!

Yahoo! The Mother of All Dirty Martinis

2 ounces Hot pepper vodka (I infused my own with a trio of habaneros, Thai chilis, and jalapenos from my own garden and Rain Organic Vodka)

Splash Vermouth

1 ounce Dirty Sue olive juice (OMG…far better than the brine from the store brand jar of green olives!)

2 garlic stuffed olives

Old Bay Seasoning

Lime

Fresh chili pepper for garnish

Rub a lime slice around the rim of a martini glass and dip into a small flat dish of Old Bay. Set aside. Pour vodka, vermouth, and Dirty Sue olive juice into a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake it up, baby. Pour into martini glass. Garnish with two garlic stuffed olives and a chili pepper (I prefer something red. Hot.).

And yeah, I realize Yahoo! has a corner on the purple market, so in keeping with their brand I could have created something in that color scheme. But the searing hot talent that pulses through the Motherboard deserved something especially saucy.

Sizzle. Sizzle.

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Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 1 Comment

March to Support Wake County Diversity Policy: Wordless Wednesday

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Photo slideshow personalized with Smilebox

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Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 26 Comments

Sony PSP Tips and Tricks

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I’ve never been much of a game girl. I mean, I don’t like the idea of eating elk or deer or ostrich. Well, Mac Daddy and I did have one helluva an ostrich steak at a lovely inn in Door County once. But at home we’re pretty much game free.

Wait a sec, this post isn’t about food, is it?

In any case, it’s also safe to say that I’ve never been much of a gamer girl. I sucked at everything on Atari, and Ms. Pac Man (how very feminist of her!) always stressed me out. I was addicted to Tetris on my Palm Pilot for a while back in the late 90s. I can get my groove on in Guitar Hero, but anything else makes me white knuckle the remote and gives me sweaty palms. I fully realize I am not worthy of the PSP I got from Sony.

But trust me, I’m a changed changing girl.

Granted, I probably don’t maximize the PSP to its full capability, but that’s what people would say about my college experience too. I do enjoy the clear screen, which will be perfect for watching girlie movies under the covers on nights I can’t be bothered to perch a laptop on my knees. I love the goofy games, you know, the ones the real gamers balk at. I imagine they don’t play games called Sneezies and Yummy Yummy.

I’d love to hear what games and gizmos you like about your Sony PSP. I could use some tips on games to download for me and the kids. I’ll tell you what, I have a $50 card you can redeem at the Sony Playstation store. Fifty bucks, folks. Just leave me a comment with your game tips and ideas. Make sure you leave me your email address. I’ll pick a winner at random in one week. That’s Monday, July 26.

Game on!

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Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 2 Comments

5:00 Fridays – When Life Gives You Lemons…

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Make limoncello!

I’m still on an Italy high and can’t stop daydreaming about our perfectly perfect family vacation. We are all still  moping about, missing various bits and pieces of our experience. The boys miss Gaspar, the lovely grandfatherly owner of our favorite little gelato shop. I miss the smell of shoe leather. Mac Daddy misses calamari and smoked meat.

Forgive me for waxing on about our trip. It was just so dang delightful that I can’t tear my brain away from the memories and sights and smells and tastes. Oh, the tastes! We spent some time in Sorrento on the Mediterranean coast. The area is known for its lemons, and I’m telling you, they are abundant. Freshly caught calamari with a squirt of lemon accompanied by an arugula salad dressed with lemon juice and olive oil is simply divine. Pardon me while I wipe the drool from my chin.

Naturally, when life in Italy gives you lemons, there’s only one thing you can do (well, two actually….I had a mean lemon gelato in Capri…but I digress). Make limoncello! Limoncello is a tart, refreshing citrus drink that is popular in Sorrento. It’s a great palate cleanser so enjoy it as an after dinner drink on a hot summer night. Drink this with someone you have the hots for cuz this drink will surely make you pucker.

Here’s the recipe I got from a trusted source in Sorrento:

Limoncello

1 liter water

1 750 ml bottle of good quality vodka

2 1/2 cups sugar

10 lemons

Pour the vodka into a large jar or bottle that can be hermetically sealed. Wash and zest the lemons with a peeler (the yellow skin only, blech to the white pith!). Add lemon zest to vodka. Let the jar sit on your counter for 10 days. After 10 days, make simple syrup with the water and sugar (dissolve sugar in a saucepan of heated — not boiling — water). Let simple syrup cool and add to vodka. Allow to sit for 10 more days. Strain, bottle, and freeze until ready to drink.

Limoncello is an easy concoction that requires patience. It’s totally worth it. Cin Cin!

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