The world is indisputably more connected than ever before. Yet paradoxically, we are also more disconnected. Face to face interactions are replaced by screens with time delay jerkiness and buffering. We don’t inherently look people in the eyes, and parents are constantly reminding their teens to look up when they talk to adults the way we used to chirp “Say please and thank you” when they were toddlers. We are alarmingly disconnected at a tumultuous time when our souls need it most.
I reflect on my own connections and actively seek them out, especially during the times I want to retreat and hide. I know though, that my personal connections matter. For me, my connections to my girlfriends, my fellow reSisters, stoke my fires and recalibrate my mood. We are busy working moms, active community volunteers, and girlfriends who just want to have fun. I find that we spin in circles trying to find time to settle in and enjoy each other’s company. On a whim, I recently emailed several friends and secured a date to get together for drinks and dinner. During the week! We spent hours together, laughing, sharing stories of our kids, lamenting about the state of things, and simply enjoying being together. It was the etch-a-sketch shake we all needed. There is no photographic evidence of our follies since not a phone was in sight.
We underestimate the value of female friendships. We trivialize them with tropes of motherhood exhaustion and chardonnay binges. My friendships don’t look anything like what the media or screenwriters portray. My friends are women who teach me new things, shape my perspectives, catch me before I fall, and laugh at my jokes. We step in to be each other’s cheerleader or comforter, and everything in between. We are there when are husbands are gone, when our children are hurting, or when we just need an extra set of hands and a heart to love our families as our own. These friends are my connections that matter.
I am proud to have begun my service on the board of Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina. We have launched an incredibly simple yet powerful campaign called Connections Matter. “Connections Matter is a community-based initiative that explores how the connections we make in life profoundly impact the brain’s ability to grow and our own individual abilities to cope and thrive.” We feed our bellies, we protect our hearts, but as a society, we do little to nourish our brains. All of these work in concert to build resilience. Our human interactions give us life in the same way we need air, water, food, and shelter. We are bolstered by these connections, subconsciously even. In fact, I bet you are someone’s connection that matters and you don’t even know it.