I’m going to say something very unpopular here. Prepare for a get-off-mah-lawn rant…I’m tired of kids with cell phones. I’m tired of seeing kids with their fingers pushing buttons or their faces in a screen all the time. I’m tired of the lack of eye contact and reliance on a screen to communicate (or avoid communicating). I think we adults are setting a bad example for these kids. Guilty as charged, BTW. Something’s got to change. We are removing humanity from the equation, and our focus on being ever so connected is actually making us less connected in all the ways that matter.
I talk to young people all the time for my job and to vet people to feature for Handmade NC. I’m astounded at the poor manners I see and the lack of eye contact in a meeting. What really irks me is when you see a table full of people at a restaurant and everyone is staring at a screen instead of engaging with the live bodies in their company. I love the no cell phone rule at Chicago institution Perry’s.
My sons are 11 and 9 in 6th and 4th grades respectively. They do not have phones. They have an iTouch, Kindle Fire, and iPad (overboard, I know). But those devices stay in the kitchen or downstairs, and they still ask if they can use them. They use the Kindle for reading but still prefer real books. My sons play outside all the time, and we’re lucky to live in a neighborhood full of kids and parks. I do my social media posting while the boys are playing outside, doing homework, or at school. I don’t carry my phone around the house. If I use it to check the weather or something I make a point to tell them why I’m staring at the screen. Look, I’m guilty of screen stare. My sons have called me on it. I’ve been working to ditch the screen habit and be more present.
My 11-year old son and his friend were just lamenting to me that they hate that their friends are on a screen all the time. They said they feel snubbed and that it’s rude for their friends to ignore the people in front of them. Both kids said they want to scream to their friends, “Hellooooo, I’m right here! Look up from your screen!” It’s sad when peers are calling each other out on this. Perhaps adults need to do this, too.
We don’t have screens at the table or on our person all the time. When kids come over I don’t let them have a phone at the table. At sleepover I ask for phones to be charged downstairs. This has made me wildly unpopular and marked as “the strictest mom.” I’m OK with that. Kids are still over here all the time. I listened to 4th graders today read their opinion writing pieces on whether kids should have phones or not, and not one child was in favor of the idea, some citing their middle school siblings’ phone behavior.
Why can’t we just make a pact as parents to stop this nonsense? It starts with us.
What a great post. You are doing a terrific job!! This is so true!!!…I love the line we do not buy our kids BMWs when they get their license. !!! We are teaching our children to be hooked on screens versus eye to eye communicating. I sometimes wish I never purchased a smart phone myself. The tools that were supposedly designed to make life easier truly has become the thing that makes us more complicated. We have so many ways to communicate today but sadly no one talks anymore…..bravo to you!!!!…..