Poverty Plays by Different Rules

Usually by this time of night when I sit down at my desk to write, my head hurts. But tonight, my heart aches.

I get lots of crap in my inbox. Loads of trolls find the time to rant anonymously about things I’ve written. I’m all for polite, thoughtful discourse and believe we all have a lot to learn from each other. What I cannot stand are the personal attacks and nincompoop attitudes that make me seethe. I’ve written a lot about poverty, education, helping others in need, and politics. It’s no secret that I have a soft spot for children and I lean so left I walk lopsided. I am especially partial to helping and protecting the children who have had no say in their station in life. So many times children of poverty are disregarded because people judge their parents’ actions. Children who live in poverty are victims. Each and every one.

I know this firsthand.

We’re talking about people, not statistics. I challenge you to look into the eyes of an impoverished child and then walk away unscathed and unmoved. For those of you who rant and stand upon your soapbox cemented into the High Road, I ask you – Have you ever sat with a poor child upon your lap and read him a book? Have you ever seen a poor child grin a smile so wide it makes you teary for no apparent reason? Have you ever even known a child who lives in poverty? When you see a gaggle of kindergarteners squealing whilst chasing butterflies on the playground you would be hard pressed to know who lives in a hovel and who lives in a McMansion.

A recent spate of emails I received were rants from people who wouldn’t support “charity cases” and people who live an “immoral life.” I read thread after thread from people who can’t support those who make “bad choices” and don’t kiss the ass of every benefactor. Last I heard, the high road was not jammed up with rich folk do-gooders. The rich do not hold the key to the city that perches on Higher Moral Ground. Does Raymond Cook mean anything to you? Ahem. And do I need to remind you of Kenneth Lay of Enron, Dennis Koslowski of Tyco, or Charlie Sheen? They’re all rich, right (or were at one time)? Plenty of rich people live ill mannered, unethical lives. Likewise, plenty of poor people live moral, responsible lives that are underscored by faith so deep I cannot even fathom its weight.

The issue between rich and poor paradigms is not morality; it is a matter of education and choices. I cannot begin to overlay my upbringing and standards on someone who has known nothing but poverty and a life peppered with drug abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, and fear. My standards do not fit in that world because our starting points are not the same. While I might shake my head in frustration and dismay at the people who choose drugs over food or babies over birth control, it is not my place to judge. I, an educated woman from a long line of educated professionals, have never had to fight for survival or stare down despair. I don’t know what it is to live in hunger, in fear, in utter hopelessness. Chances are, children who grow up in a toxic environment will just keep the cycle alive. Punishing a child for his parents’ choices is simply inhumane and heartless. It’s time we look at poverty through a fresh lens.

My friend Hugh shed a new light on this issue for me. He spoke of relationships and how often times the poor do not have healthy, steadfast relationships to teach them and guide them. They go into over drive to carry on with a fierce sense of self reliance or escape because they have no network of relationships to rely on. It’s awfully hard to stay focused and motivated when the system, policies, lawmakers, peers, and pretty much everything are against you. A life in poverty is akin to a salmon swimming upstream to a fateful demise. Yet we judge and expect people who live in a different framework of rules to respond as we would, making rationale, safe, responsible decisions.

Frankly, I find it deplorable that we are so quick to judge and so slow to lend a hand.