Loving a Large Family

Mac Daddy is the youngest of six children. I come from a family of four, but there were mostly just three of us depending on if we were with Dad or visiting Mom. I didn’t grow up with family around and I’d be hard pressed to even recognize my cousins, aunts, and uncles in photos. I have vague recollections of my grandparents and almost no memory of spending time with them beyond fleeting wisps of memories that whisper in my consciousness time to time. Now I have a lovely little family of two kids and a dog. We are a tight knit family, and I sure hope we stay that way. We do get lonely though and miss out on being a part of a larger, deeper family structure. Bird and Deal have family members who love them but none who participate actively and regularly in their lives for various reasons.

Gone are the days that families live close to each other. My family spans three different time zones, sometimes four depending on who’s traveling. Because my parents moved, I don’t have a “home” to go back to where I can show my sons the house I grew up in. They haven’t even seen the town I grew up in. Bird and Deal have no sense of my past, though they frequently ask me to regale them with tales of my childhood. They lovingly dubbed such stories Hometown Stories. They plead to us before bed (perhaps as a stall tactic), “Tell us a Hometown Story tonight! Tell us a funny one!” My life sorely lacks that sense of history, posterity, and belonging. I don’t have a legacy to latch onto but I fully intend to create one for my sons. Thanks to a comprehensive family history that Mac Daddy’s grandmother and aunts researched and wrote, we are halfway there. Grandma lived to be just shy of 102 so she had plenty of stories to share, and her photos are priceless.

When we need a good dose of some boisterous family time, we go home to see Mac Daddy’s family. Cousins and Aunts and Uncles, oh my! Bird and Deal are a bit overwhelmed at first, but they eventually get into the throes of cousins running around and relish the noise. They have instant playmates and pals at the kids’ table. The cousins noisily chew and talk with their mouths open, and there is never enough ketchup to go around. Bird and Deal, being the youngest among the cousins, love playing with everyone’s old toys and get a thrill being tossed around and given piggyback rides. They drag out Mac Daddy’s metal Tonka trucks from 30-some years ago, and I sit back praying they don’t lose a finger from those toys that would not get the JPMA seal of approval these days. They absolutely love playing with Daddy’s old toys and seeing the room (the bed even) that Daddy grew up in. They forage through Grandma’s hall closet dragging down board games from back in the day. They laugh at old family photos and squeal when we try to snap new ones. Bird and Deal fall asleep with a smile and cozy up to a sense of family that Mac Daddy and I alone cannot create.

Despite the challenges that larges families bring, it is utter joy to be amongst my inlaws. I love the loud, off key singing at Christmas. The pile of winter coats and boots and scarves that signal we’ve all come home to nest. I love the conveyor belt of homemade goodies and soul warming comfort food that only Midwesterners can cook up. I love sitting knee to knee with loved ones who love us unconditionally. There’s no being lonely in a large family. I love that I married into a big family because I sure as heck am not going to be the matriarch of one!