Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 5 Comments

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Share



This photo album customized with Smilebox

Read More

Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 8 Comments

5:00 Fridays – Kelly’s Cukes

Share

Cucumis sativus

Concombre

Cetriolo

Gurke

I learned something today. Who knew the Bible had so many quotes about cucumbers? OK, maybe only two, but that’s two more mentions of the cuke than I thought would be in the Bible.

Dr. Samuel Johnson once said back in 1785, “A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing. ” Clearly the good doctor didn’t have lime, mint, and gin on hand.

My friend Kelly is a green thumb novice like me. We’ve both been hobby gardeners and pretty much just want the goods without all the weeding and skeeter bites. I suppose it’s akin to just wanting the paycheck without doing the work. Let me put it to you this way – when I went out to the water the other day, I came back inside with 35 mosquito bites. 3-freaking-5. The next time I went out to water I got 15 bites. The four on my arm look so horrendous that onlookers might think I’ve been whipped with a mallet made of sweet gum pods. I do enjoy the act and fruits of gardening but truth be told, I’d like it to be a whole lot easier. I’m really no good at communing with Nature. Also, I don’t have the right shoes for it.

Well, my pal Kelly has lots of lovely plants but apparently few crops. There must be some quota about fertilization in her zip code. You see, she’s pregnant and very well might have tilted the pollination scales to prevent any of her garden seeds from, well, doing whatever it is seeds do. The Birds and the Bees 101, baby. It turns out, however, that Kelly has a boatload of cucumbers. I could write a Bubba Gump Shrimp-esque tome on ways to enjoy all those cukes, but my first reaction was cocktail inspired. Yeah, I realize Kelly is preggers and can’t indulge, but come September, she’ll knock one back (um, or maybe next summer). In the mean time, she’ll get rid of her cuke crop and serve up some refreshing libations to her guests and baby shower well wishers.

And for the record, it just so happens that my cucumbers did nothing this year. Nada. Zilch. Weeds. I guess there’s a fertilization quota in my zip code too. But I’m not pregnant.

Kelly’s Cukes

2 ounces of Hendricks gin

1 cucumber, cut into chunks and frozen

1 handful of mint

lime

club soda

It’s been hotter than Hades bumping and grinding with Aphrodite wearing a school girl pinafore and nothing else. This drink is a sure fire way to cool off your nervous system.

Muddle the mint and juice from one lime. Add Hendricks gin and ice and shake yer groove thang yeah yeah. Strain and pour into a collins glass filled with ice (I’m partial to these nifty ice molds we got for Mac Daddy for Father’s Day.). Add a splash of club soda. Drop in a few frozen cucumber cubes as garnish and additional libation freon (of the non toxic variety).

I’ll be lounging in my favorite comfy chair with Tom Wolfe in one hand and Kelly’s Cukes in the other. That sounds a whole lot nastier than I mean. Chewing on the cucumber cubes will be far more refined than crunching ice, no? Cheers to cultivating your garden and to the inner Candide in all of us.

Read More

Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 11 Comments

Raising Digital Kids is Stressful

Share

Raising children in the digital era is giving me gray hair.

I am glad my sons only use the computer once in a while to play games on PBS Kids or Starfall or other such wholesome sites. Bird and Deal are only 5 and 6 (almost 7!), so I know their cyber world will change faster than 140 characters goes from a tweet to a, um, hmmmmm…., well, you get the picture. Geesh.

I worry about how kids interact online these days. I sound old and I don’t give a damn. The online environment is chock full of some frightening shit. While the web offers plenty of amazing resources and writing and recipes and games and tips, it also offers up a shameful dose of predators and scams and plots and bullies. Did my parents think this when we got cable TV, I wonder?

I happen to know a young teenage girl whose parents have the best of intentions. She has given her folks her Facebook login information and has even friended her mom. Her mother seems to think her daughter leads an innocent, upstanding life online. I happen to know that said teen has another, secret Facebook account. This is the account that she actively uses and updates token bits about boys, crushes, parental irks, and the like. It’s all typical teenage fare and rather innocuous. What worries me here is the lie. Wool-over-the-eyes-Mom thinks status updates about studying and term papers are the extent of her daughter’s Facebooking. It’s the modern day equivalent of “I’m going to spend the night at Missy’s so we can work on our science fair project.” Translation: Missy’s parents are out of town and have a stocked bar.

I know another young teenager who has been friended on Facebook by an adult who used to work for the school system. It turns out this man friended a lot of kids. When the teenager I know logged on one day…correction…when his parents logged into his Facebook account (the real one, really), this man immediately popped in wanting to chat (Live chatting is a Facebook feature, one that I hate and have disabled.). It turns out it was during school hours, which the man should have known. Was he fishing around wondering if this teenage boy was home? Home alone? What gives? I smell something sketchy. And so did this kid’s parents. They turned the guy in. Turns out school employees are banned from engaging with students in such a manner. Duh! I don’t know how the story ends but I do know that it gave me a fright.

Creepiness lurks everywhere. I get that. But I am most fearful of the creepiness when I can’t be there to protect my kids. As a mother, my job as a human shield can only go so far. Mac Daddy and I have already agreed to keep computers (and TVs for that matter) out of our sons’ rooms. We purposely designed our home renovation to include a playroom right off the kitchen as opposed to somewhere on another floor out of sight. That playroom will eventually house a couple desks and computers when the Playmobil and Barrel of Monkeys have been cleared out.

I’m not naive here. I don’t think that my sons will exhibit responsible, safe behavior just because they know we’re over their shoulders. We obviously want to raise them with good judgment to ensure they make sound choices when we’re not poking around and underfoot. Forget WWJD. I’m thinking about getting them tattoos that say WWMDWYTD (What Would Mommy and Daddy Want You to Do).

The online environment just gives us parents more to worry about. Bullies have taken to the online superhighway. Creeps have infiltrated cyber social circles. Nastiness is advertised amid blinking lights, and things that make me say ewwwwwww are just a click away. Watching my sons grow up will entail a whole lot more than letting them cross the street alone for the first time. Navigating the cyber highway is gonna be a whole lot scarier.

But here’s the deal, it’s not the Internet’s responsibility to keep my sons safe. It’s mine.

Read More

Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 7 Comments

Happy 5th (GASP!!!) Birthday to Deal!

Share

I have just a few years until my sons are taller than I am. Granted, they aren’t up against a huge challenge here as I am a whopping 60 inches tall (that’s 5’0 if you aren’t mathy). My baby boy is growing like a weed, and he is quickly creeping up on his big brother. Mac Daddy mixes up their clothes all the time. Then again, Bird’s long lost Adidas soccer shorts were unearthed in my drawer recently since Mac Daddy thought they were mine. Um, I’m small but not that small. But hey, the man folds and puts away laundry; I’m not complaining. Well, my baby boy who is fast approaching my 60-inch stature, is five today.

Five.

I can still see him toddling about cooing tahtahtahtahtyytyyytyy, his chubby cheeks flapping as he ran to me with outstretched pudgy arms. I still have his baby shoes and teeny outfit he wore home from the hospital. Everything from babyhood was so small yet so momentous. Deal was an especially easy baby and he has remained an easy going child. There is something special about this kid that makes everyone want to whisk him away to buy him candy and teddy bears. It could be his sweet voice, his kind demeanor, his adorable thumb sucking, his gentle nature. There is just something simply amazing about this little boy. And I’m not just saying that because he’s my son.

Deal was born under the best of circumstances. Three hours of labor. Three pushes. And somewhere in there I took a nap, jolted awake by the nurse telling me to push. Mac Daddy and I didn’t know the gender of our children before they were born. We didn’t want to ruin life’s greatest surprise, and we’d do it the same way even if we were Jim Bob and Michelle. Mac Daddy and I had settled on a girl’s name (Audrey Beth…Audrey as in Hepburn, my hero, Beth for his sister who died much too young). Well, we saw a mop of black hair (Yes, I saw it too. I watched both of my children being born thanks to a ginormous mirror angled just-so.) and figured we had a girl. Bird was born bald so it only made sense. Then we saw something alarming. A face. A pink squished face that looked like a brain.

Deal was born sunnyside up. And his disposition has been just that from day one.

Happy Birthday, to my baby boy Deal! There aren’t words adequate enough to express how very much I love you.

Read More

Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 1 Comment

Happy Father’s Day, Mac Daddy!

Share

Bird: “I love Daddy because he is funny.”

Deal: “I love Daddy because he plays with me all the time.”

Me:  “I love Daddy because he gave me the kind of family I always dreamed of.”

Happy Father’s Day to Mac Daddy and to my Dad! I love you.

Read More

Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 3 Comments

5:00 Fridays – Edith’s Toast

Share

I’d like to live in Edith Vanderbilt’s shoes for just a weekend. I know I’d share a kinship with any woman who’d wear bright corally orange fine silk sewn inside her otherwise staid black cape. It’s also a sure thing that her shoes were fantastic, so what girl wouldn’t want to walk in them? Nevermind that she was described as statuesque with a tiny waist, and I am her bodily antithesis. This is my daydream, remember?

I’d love to greet my guests with a cool drink in hand and parade into the Biltmore’s grand entrance hall. As I’d sashay gracefully with perfect posture, thanks to a nipped in corset and flowing bustle, my guests would be greeted by a lavish bouquet of gardenia blossoms in the Winter Garden, and the appetite boosting scent of quail roasting and peach pie baking would drift up from the basement kitchen. My guests’ children would frolic among the fields, escaping the mild manners of the day in exchange for wild oblivion. We grown ups would sip, nosh, and chat whilst inhaling the mountain views. The men folk, in the absence of 60 inch flat screen TVs, would likely be high fiving and roaring over some horse or boar or other such wild creature. Since Mac Daddy isn’t a hunter or gunsman, he’d be plenty happy with cool ale in hand and a game of cards or billiards with his buddies.

Oh, and the frolicking children would presumably be cared for by a team of nannies, making my walk in Edith’s shoes all the more decadent.

I just returned from a marvelous blogger trip to the Biltmore House in Asheville, North Carolina. We were treated to a few days of decadence at the Inn on Biltmore Estate, 2010-style.  I’ve been to the Biltmore several times, most recently last Christmas. Here’s the thing, every time I go there I leave wanting to see more. I have yet to take in all that I want. On this trip Bird and Deal had a grand time in the hotel pool (and oh what a fine pool it is!), nestled into a corner of the hotel with sweeping mountain views. Mac Daddy and I got to enjoy dinner in the new Antler Hill Village Cedric’s restaurant (The halibut was divine!) while the boys indulged in room service with a babysitter. [Sidebar: Melissa the sitter was fantastic!!! The concierge arranged for her, and she came highly recommended by local folks in the know. She brought Playdoh and paints and marveled that the boys wanted to watch Food Network for their TV time. The kids were sound asleep when we got home, and the first thing they did when they awoke was tell us all about Miss Melissa. Dear Melissa, please move to Raleigh!]

I have been to Biltmore House with Mac Daddy before we had kids, all by myself, with the whole family, and most recently, with just Deal. Did I mention that Bird got a super high fever on Day 2 of our trip so we came home early? Yup, he was miserable and just wanted to be in his own bed. Packing up means we missed out on the rooftop tour, meeting Cedric, the St. Bernard puppy who outweighs me, the Range Rover driving experience that was sure to unleash my inner off road spirit, and more scrumptious meals. We have promised the kids a return to Biltmore for that rooftop tour, and Deal won’t be happy until he meets Cedric. Luckily Biltmore House is an easy drive for us. And like I said, there’s always so much more to do, so much more to explore, so much more to eat, so much more to sip.

Next up, a girls’ weekend getaway to Biltmore House. Gorgeous scenery. Fantastic food. Spa packages. Poolside cocktails. Wine tasting. What’s not to love? Who’s in?

And so my jaunt to Biltmore House, albeit cut short, inspired my cocktail today. Having met Bernard Delille, Biltmore’s winemaker with a delicious French accent that suits his job beautifully, I decided to share something sparkling with you today. Biltmore Winery is celebrating its 25th year this year, a milestone worth toasting. But you know, I don’t think you must reserve something sparkling just for special occasions, whether you’re talking diamonds or wine makes no difference. There are occasions big and small worthy of a sparkly salute everyday. The Vanderbilts favored sparkling wine, yet another indication that I could definitely channel Edith the next time I entertain.

Edith’s Toast

Fresh peach slices (lovely this time of year since peaches are in season!)

1 shot Cointreau

Biltmore 25th anniversary Sparkling Wine

Puree a few fresh peach slices with a shot of Cointreau. Add to a champagne flute. Pour Biltmore 25th Anniversary Sparkling Wine to top it off. Drink with pinky finger primly sticking out.

I imagine Edith would have served this on a summer afternoon as her guests oohed and aahed their way inside. The orange tone of the peaches would have matched her cape perfectly.

Read More

Posted by Ilinap in Dirt and Noise | 1 Comment

Wordless Wednesday: Pssst…I got Mommy’s PSP.

Share

Read More